Blog Post
Resilience
Lynette Beer • Jun 15, 2020
Why can some people cope with stress and trauma and others not? Why can some move forward while others stay stuck in their pain?
Resilience or the ability to overcome adversity has been researched by the human sciences for many years, trying to trace why and how some people can bounce back in spite of hardship and severe trauma.
Recent research has highlighted some of the most common factors of resilient people:
- They don’t see themselves as victims of circumstance and understand the importance of actively managing their feelings and coping skills.
- They are resourceful and normally have good problem-solving skills.
- They know that they need social support to survive and don’t neglect their support systems.
- They value their connection with family and friends.
- They are not scared to ask for help.
- Resilient people also show a high level of spirituality, acknowledging that people are all part of a bigger picture, designed by a power greater than us.
Practising their spirituality, of whatever kind, brings them a sense of meaning and perspective, adding purpose to their lives. They acknowledge love and compassion as driving forces in their lives and interaction with people.
It has been found that a certain degree of spirituality enables resilient people to cultivate hope and to practice critical awareness. They accept their vulnerability but know how to take the edge off the discomfort and pain caused by trauma.
Hope is not an emotion for resilient people, but a mindset and a way of thinking. They set goals and persevere to achieve it and they believe in their own abilities. The good news is that hopefulness is a skill that can be learned! Children can learn hope from their parents and in relationships where there are boundaries, consistency and support – they can learn that hope is a choice any person can make. But resilient people know that this is not an easy and fast process – it requires hard work and commitment.
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Get into the driver seat of your life, take control of your own happiness and stop placing limits on your potential.
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Understanding people is to understand the building blocks of relationships. Knowing the four temperament types gives us the keys to this understanding – enabling us to get insight into what motivates people to react in specific ways.
I have to date, not met any successful healthcare worker without a deep love for people. Empathy and caring for people's needs should form part of any nurse or doctor's make-up – unless they choose to spend time in laboratories or the admin side of the industry.
If there is one place knowledge of the temperaments could save one's bacon, it is in the classroom. Teachers who know the characteristics of the four temperaments would invest in their survival and peace of mind by applying this knowledge to the learning environment.
Stress management is not a nice-to-have skill. If anything, dealing with stress could be a lifesaver. For many corporate positions, it has become a prerequisite for employment.
Communicating is a vital life skill that does not come naturally to all. When it comes to talking, the Red and Yellow temperaments have no problem at all – to the contrary, they are talkers par excellence. As the storyteller and performer, Yellow could make an impromptu speech with little or no warning, while Red could persuade a large group to follow his course or buy into his concept. But listening – the other crucial ingredient of communication - is a skill both Red and Yellow must practise.
Although the two extrovert types, Raving Red and Yappy Yellow, are traditionally the apparent leaders, all temperaments can lead a team. It is a misconception that introverts do not make good leaders.
Although opposites often attract, there is no scientific proof that this is the norm. However, it is common to find an introvert marrying an extrovert or a people-oriented person finding a task-oriented Red or Blue attractive. This could be a subconscious step to compliment him- or herself or simply make sure that he or she does not have to perform a duty that does not come naturally or comfortably.
‘Know Thyself’ has never been as crucial as in the parenting role. Parents have often told me that the child they battle the most with is the one that resembles them – in character and temperament. Flaring up against young Jimmy because he shows signs of your own shortcomings is human – but not fair.
Groovy Green hates making decisions – it comes with the temperament… He or she is a master procrastinator and good at passing on the decision-making buck. Feeling unworthy and not ‘good enough’, clever enough or competent enough to make any decision, is almost a natural reaction for our Green brothers and sisters.