How to manage difficult people

  • By Lynette Beer
  • 01 May, 2017

For a team to function optimally, you have to have representatives of all four temperaments working together.

How to manage difficult people - For a team to function optimally, you have to have representatives of all four temperaments working together.
How to manage difficult people - For a team to function optimally, you have to have representatives of all four temperaments working together.
Being a project manager can be a daunting task, especially if you have difficult people in the company. You know those “slackers”, “talkaholics” and “quiet perfectionists”. Really? To sort out this problem, we first have to decipher what or who constitutes a difficult person.

We are not talking about people with serious psychological problems here; we are referring to your every day worker, staff member, secretary and manager who occupies all the office blocks in town. Are any of them really difficult to get along with, or do they just say, do and react to things differently than you do?

No two persons are exactly the same. Each one is uniquely created with a certain  temperament . There are mainly four temperaments , but any person is a unique combination of all four, not taking into account their individual characters, history and emotional baggage. We divide the temperaments into yellow, red, green and blue. First things first, you have to remember that you are born with your temperament intact; you have inherited it from your grandparents or even great grandparents. As such one  temperament colour is not better to have than the others. Each one is unique and 
important in our world.

You might think at first it would have been better if everybody just were the same... Oh, but that would have been a great disaster. Imagine for one moment everyone in your team, were Yellow, forever chatting, forgetting about deadlines and storming from one project and great idea to the next without finishing anything or properly thinking anything 
through. Business down the drain!

What if all your team members were Blue, always stuck in a corner, meticulously working out the details before doing the project with time-consuming perfection, but unable to communicate effectively with the customer? Or all your staff members were born leaders, each one of them with their own ideas, not taking direction from anyone, forever arguing?

For a team to function optimally, you have to have representatives of all four temperaments working together. You need to have the Red and Yellow extroverts, the relationship-driven, introverted Greens and the analytical, perfectionist Blues too look after finances, schedules and logistics.

Each temperament has strong and weak points and yes, if these temperaments collide your office could resemble a battlefield, but if they learn how to work together, well not even the sky is the limit for your success. Imagine having a productive team, working effectively with proper time-management towards the same goals and objectives. Project management made easy!

How do you get them all to work together? First of all, make sure everybody knows who they are. To figure that out you can either have them do an o nline test to learn more about each team member's temperament or you could buy one of our excellent books on the subject. “ Know who you are ” and “ Watter kleur is jou persoonlikheid ” are both available in our online shop .

Ultimately book a workshop or team building session and one of our team members will be your hands on guide to help your members through the minefield of different personalities in one office!
By Lynette Beer 30 Jun, 2017

It breaks my heart when I see a woman with low self-esteem, who doesn’t have the confidence to live her dreams and reach her full potential. It is the most unnecessary feeling in the world! If you know who you are and specifically who you are in Christ, you will have all the confidence to take on the world.

One of the biggest mistakes a woman can make is to try to be like someone else. Why? Why do you want to look like that model in the magazine? Why do you want to be like your pastor’s wife or your sister or your colleague at work? You have to be yourself.

That’s who God made you to be. Listen what the Bible says in Ps 139: 13 -16 “Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration—what a creation! You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.” (The Message)

You were born to be somebody, to leave your mark and to change the world. You were born to exceed the limits placed on you by others and to live a life of success and to have a spirit of excellence. You were born to be extra-ordinary and to live beyond our circumstances, rather than be defined by them.

So what happened to you? When did you decide that the road of greatness was not for you? When did you decide that you are the victim of your circumstances? Why do you allow fear, and the voices of discouraging people, to handcuff you?

God sculpted you from nothing into something and before you were even born, He had a plan for your life. There is something very specific He wants you to do with your life. He created you with purpose and He left a dream in your heart.

It is up to you to make that dream a reality. But you can only do that if you have confidence in yourself.  You have to understand that there is only one of you. You are unique with a specific character, temperament and personality with weak points and strong points, with talents and gifts. Learn how to enhance your strong points, polish your talents and be the you you were born to be!

By Lynette Beer 22 Jun, 2017

I don’t want to know how busy you are, or how much you are doing for your church. I want to know if you live a focused, purposeful life. In other words, are you living life to your fullest potential, according to the plans, dreams, talents and gifts that God build into your heart even before you were born? Jeremiah 1:5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” 

You need to grasp this truth today. There is no such thing as a man or a woman without a dream. We were all created to have dreams; we have a destiny and a reason for living. What is your calling in life? Maybe you don’t even know where to start to figure this one out. Well, what is that one thing that you did when you were a child? Maybe you were always playing with your dolls, pretending they were sick and you had to get them back to health. Or you lined them up in a row and played you were the teacher. Maybe you didn’t like playing with dolls at all, but was forever building stuff with whatever you could lay your hands on, designing towers with your mother’s pots and pans or making roads in the dirt. 

But, somewhere along the line you changed. You didn’t do that anymore. You started to listen to what other people say on what you should do and not do, what you should study, how you should live your life, and that passion faded. Now, every time someone talks about fulfilling your dreams, adhering to your calling in life, you have this niggling uneasiness in the back of your mind. And you wonder… what if I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing? 

Then of course there is the things you catch yourself daydreaming about. Maybe it is to write a book, be an artist, start your own business… but then you forget about it again and carry on with your normal, day-to-day life, wondering if this is it? Is this what life is all about?

No, a 1000 times over no! God thought of you before you were born and he had a plan for you before you were in womb. God knew who he wanted the accountants, the business men, the writers, the actors, the engineers, the teachers, the chefs, the pathologists, the home-makers, and the mechanics to be. Regardless of what you do, what your title is, what your salary is, you were created to have an impact in the world and leave a mark on our generation. Just do it!

Learn more about our Workshop - Life's Purpose

By Lynette Beer 05 Jun, 2017
Business owners, employers, managers and entrepreneurs how do you appoint a new member to your team? The usual route... first the ad in the local newspaper and nowadays online as well, then the short listing of the candidates, followed by the interviews and the decision. That’s how most companies do it. Unfortunately, they miss one crucial step in the whole process...  establishing the potential candidate’s temperament and if the person is going to fit into the company’s culture!

How many times have you heard somebody say “he did so well in the interview, but since his appointment it has been a disaster”? You see, if you only have a CV and one interview for reference you are gambling with your business as well as the potential employee’s career.

You have to take a person’s EQ and their temperament into account as well. Let’s focus on EQ or emotional intelligence first. According to www.psychologytoday.com , “emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. It is generally said to include three skills: emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions.”

In other words… will the person be able to handle work stress? How will she cope with conflict? Is he a team player? How does he handle difficult situations? You can build these types of questions into the interview, but why don’t you give them a  temperament test first ? If you know who they are according to the Personality Matrix , you immediately know their strong and weak points, making the final interview so much easier.

Every person belongs to at least one of the four Temperaments/Personalities, presented here in colours to make it easier to understand. People who are extroverted (Popular Yellow and Powerful Red), enjoy positions that allow them a great deal of interaction with other people. They are also natural leaders. Those with more introverted characteristics, (Perfect Blue and Peaceful Green), are content to be in positions that keep them more isolated from other people.

While you at it, maybe you should test yourself and the rest of your team. It can be done online on our website or you can even book a workshop for your team. When people are placed in a position from where they can operate in their natural strengths and enjoy their work, they will tend to be more productive, less absent and less likely to seek alternative employment. All of these are good building stones for your company’s ultimate success, you should try it.
By Lynette Beer 22 May, 2017
What do you dream about? No, I am not talking about those stories your mind cook up when you are sleeping, I am talking about your bucket list, your daydreams... that big thing you still want to do, learn or accomplish.

It’s so easy to dream. Easy to make a list of all the things you still want to do. How many times have you sit in a meeting and thought about your own business, where you will never have meetings on a Friday afternoon! Or you read a book and thought, “really? This was published? I could do better!” In your mind’s eye you can see the book on the shelves already.

Why haven’t you done anything of those things you are dreaming about yet? What is standing in your way of making your dream a reality? Actually, WHAT is the wrong question. Rather ask WHO is standing in your way, and no, it’s not your spouse, children, your boss or the government. The culprit is... you!

Ah yes, I can hear you now. “You don’t understand, my finances are in a mess, I can’t quit now.” Or “I have to wait until the children are out of the house.” “What if I quit my job and my business fails?”

What ifs a 1000 times over. There will always be a “what if” and “waiting for the right time” excuse until you decide to transform your dreams into goals. 

Ah, now we are getting to the hard part. Transforming your dream world into reality requires hard work and you have to have a plan of action.

Focus on what you want to do, how you want to do it, and what kind of person you want to become in the process. Do research on how other people are living their dreams, the internet has loads of stories, read books on goal setting and self-improvement, find out who you are and why you do things in a certain why ( you can find excellent books on this topic if you go to our store ), attend workshops and seminars … the list goes on.

Above all, stop focusing on the excuses, set your goals and take the first step towards fulfilment and becoming the person you were born to be!
By Lynette Beer 01 May, 2017
Being a project manager can be a daunting task, especially if you have difficult people in the company. You know those “slackers”, “talkaholics” and “quiet perfectionists”. Really? To sort out this problem, we first have to decipher what or who constitutes a difficult person.

We are not talking about people with serious psychological problems here; we are referring to your every day worker, staff member, secretary and manager who occupies all the office blocks in town. Are any of them really difficult to get along with, or do they just say, do and react to things differently than you do?

No two persons are exactly the same. Each one is uniquely created with a certain  temperament . There are mainly four temperaments , but any person is a unique combination of all four, not taking into account their individual characters, history and emotional baggage. We divide the temperaments into yellow, red, green and blue. First things first, you have to remember that you are born with your temperament intact; you have inherited it from your grandparents or even great grandparents. As such one  temperament colour is not better to have than the others. Each one is unique and 
important in our world.

You might think at first it would have been better if everybody just were the same... Oh, but that would have been a great disaster. Imagine for one moment everyone in your team, were Yellow, forever chatting, forgetting about deadlines and storming from one project and great idea to the next without finishing anything or properly thinking anything 
through. Business down the drain!

What if all your team members were Blue, always stuck in a corner, meticulously working out the details before doing the project with time-consuming perfection, but unable to communicate effectively with the customer? Or all your staff members were born leaders, each one of them with their own ideas, not taking direction from anyone, forever arguing?

For a team to function optimally, you have to have representatives of all four temperaments working together. You need to have the Red and Yellow extroverts, the relationship-driven, introverted Greens and the analytical, perfectionist Blues too look after finances, schedules and logistics.

Each temperament has strong and weak points and yes, if these temperaments collide your office could resemble a battlefield, but if they learn how to work together, well not even the sky is the limit for your success. Imagine having a productive team, working effectively with proper time-management towards the same goals and objectives. Project management made easy!

How do you get them all to work together? First of all, make sure everybody knows who they are. To figure that out you can either have them do an o nline test to learn more about each team member's temperament or you could buy one of our excellent books on the subject. “ Know who you are ” and “ Watter kleur is jou persoonlikheid ” are both available in our online shop .

Ultimately book a workshop or team building session and one of our team members will be your hands on guide to help your members through the minefield of different personalities in one office!
By Lynette Beer 17 Apr, 2017
How motivated is your team to work? Do they feel appreciated? It’s astonishing to see how many people leave relatively high-paying jobs because they don’t feel appreciated.

While things like a good salary and a yearly bonus, sure help to pay the bills, for lots of people money are just not enough. Some would like to hear a “thank you for your hard work” or a “well done on a good job” every now and again, while others prefer to be named “employee of the month” to feel they matter to the company.

If you take into account that most people spend up to 40 hours and more per week at work, it makes sense that personnel who feel they “are part of the company” and that “they make a difference” will be happier at work. Happier staff members equals higher productivity, better time-management and in the end better service or products to your
customers.

The bottom-line is... keeping your employees happy will put your business on the fast track to success.

That of course is easier said than done. You see, what makes one employee feel appreciated is not necessarily what makes another employee feel highly rated. However, once a supervisor or fellow employee learns to “speak” the primary
appreciation language of that particular person, the results become truly significant.

The five primary appreciation languages for the workplace are:

  • Words of affirmation - Either written as a thank you letter or a certificate for good work or a spoken “thank you” and a “well done” in private or in front of the team.
  • Quality time – Some employees feel appreciated and part of the company when they are part of a sports day, team building or just a function where they can “hang out with their co-workers.”
  • Acts of service – Helping an employee with small tasks or bringing them coffee while they are stuck working on a deadline can do wonders for morale. People with this primary language will also see it as a an act of service if you work late with them on a project or just be in the office too until their work are done.
  • Tangible gifts – There are people who like to give and receive small gifts. If their manager remembers, for instance, that they like chocolate with nuts and buy them some for their birthday or just because... then they will perform at their best. 
  • Physical touch – Although most forms of physical touch are frowned upon in the workplace, there are employees who need it to feel appreciated. This can be in the form of a “high five”, a slap on the back or a congratulatory handshake.
If you are not sure what language an employee would prefer. Ask them. Your employees will feel that you care about them and take interest in them as individuals, which means your battle to boost morale is already halfway won!
By Lynette Beer 03 Apr, 2017
South Africa is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. A country rich in its diversity of cultures, languages, history and a wide variety of landscapes from the bushveld to the seaside with everything in between.

Sometimes it seems that South Africans have just one thing in common. A very rare national past time, and no it’s not to braai, it’s to complain! Complaining about sports, politics, the petrol price and worst of all, complaining about ourselves.

Have you listen to yourself lately? “I am fat.” “I hate my job”. “My marriage is a mess.” “My children don’t listen.” “I am a bad mother.” “I am too busy...” It gets even worse when we are actually talking to ourselves (and yes, people do talk to themselves, all the time!) You are struggling with something and out come the words: “You idiot. Why can’t you get this right? You are useless.”

You wouldn’t say that to anyone you know now would you? Why do you say it to yourself then? The one person you are supposed to know the best. The one person you are supposed to trust, to rely on and to love with all your heart, body and soul is you.

Oh I can hear you now... “What? Are you crazy? That’s so selfish. Nobody is supposed to think that much of oneself. The Bible warns us against being too self-absorbed. We are supposed to be unselfish and to love God and our neighbours.”

Yes indeed, you are quite right. You have just forgotten the rest of the verse that says “as you love yourself.”

For you to live a successful and fulfilled life, you have to start to love and appreciate yourself. Because you are unique. You are special. God created you with so much love in His heart and with a specific plan in mind.

And here you are... downgrading yourself. Why? Because you are not like your sister / mother / dad / boss / brother / nephew / Madiba or the late Princess Diana? Good for you. You are not supposed to be like any of them! You are uniquely you. An individual, albeit an imperfect one. All human beings are imperfect. All of us have our faults, strong points, weak points, talents and gifts. Nobody has a perfect life, because you know, life is not perfect. Life is not fair. But and this is a but worthy of capital letters, BUT it’s up to you what you do with your life! It’s your choice every day.

Remember these crucial keywords in your journey to love and accept yourself -gratitude and positive thinking. Stop dwelling on all the negative things in your life and start being grateful for what you have. Write them down, you will be amazed how long that list is. And start to consciously think positively about yourself. Your brain is probably programmed over many years to think negatively and it’s oh so easy to join the circle of complainers. You can reprogram yourself through prayer and constantly concentrating to speak and think positively. Thus to answer the question... who needs to change for you to be happy? Only the one looking back at you in the mirror, the rest will follow suit.
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