Navigating Romantic Relationships with Different Temperaments

Although opposites often attract, there is no scientific proof that this is the norm. However, it is common to find an introvert marrying an extrovert or a people-oriented person finding a task-oriented Red or Blue attractive. This could be a subconscious step to compliment him- or herself or simply make sure that he or she does not have to perform a duty that does not come naturally or comfortably.



When Yappy Yellow marries Perfect Blue, be assured that temperamental sparks could fly. Imagine a party scene. Yellow greets the world (probably because she knows half the people already), while Blue sits in a corner, sulking because he gets no attention. Yellow is so busy entertaining everybody with stories and jokes and hardly notices her introverted partner, assuming he has found someone interested in his financial talk to discuss the latest budget speech. Not so – he will not venture out of his corner, might drink too much and could be steaming in self-pity, feeling neglected by his flirting wife.

In severe cases of opposites attracting, as in Red marrying Green, this could destroy one or both partners. Raving Reds, in their attempts to do everything right and stay in control, could quickly demolish their soft-spoken Green partners, aggravating their weak self-esteem and inability to stand up for themselves. Red would suffer constant frustration from Green’s inactivity. Both could soon find themselves lonely and isolated in the relationship.

Should the two people-oriented temperaments – Yellow and Green – shack up, they would have a peaceful relationship on the emotional front. However, they could face disaster when budgeting or getting things done. Should Blue and Red combine forces, they will get jobs done, and they might pay off their bond long before others do, but their emotional bond could run dry before they know – due to a lack of skills in the interpersonal arena.

The answer is not to marry the ‘right fit’ temperament but to learn about yourself and your partner’s temperament. This knowledge could empower you to speak and live to others’ needs and strengths.